Finnegan Beginnagain
Wow. It’s been a while, eh, kids? News, news, news.
Well, over Christmas this year, it was my turn to get hospitalized. My blood pressure has been fucked up. It started spiking again. Very scarily. It jumped up around 186/134. Yikes. I had been trying to switch medication with my doctor, and none of it was working particularly well. Well, long story short, it’s been a mess, and I am back, on a low sodium-heart healthy diet and taking a double maximum dose of 100 mg of Atenolol, the choice of choice hearts that don’t wanna asplode.
My cholesterol shot up to something like 300, which sucks. My heart however is healthy. I mean, there are no blockages, no attack damage, nothing. My pulse is normal. My blood pressure has been relatively low. Unfortunately it’s still hypertensive.
Basically, I’ve been taking this year over. I read back over my posts and I realize that I’m a mess. I go away for a couple months and come back talking about I got back up to 220 lbs but this time I REALLY MEAN IT! And then I lose a few pounds, bitch and moan about how hard it is, and then give up and eat cheeseburgers.
Well, let’s say hitting thirty and being hospitalized for dangerous blood pressure is a wake up call. I don’t want to die. I don’t want to be on medication. I don’t want to be fat anymore. I’m scared. I’m afraid that it’s affecting my life. My negative attitudes are increasing my stress and causing me to be depressed.
I’m doing a complete overhaul on myself this year. And I started already. I figured it’s harder to make pretty speeches about how hard I’m going work, if I’ve already started. I’m in the middle of my push for weight loss. It’s going to take a fuck of a lot of work. It’s going to be hard. I’ve given up a lot of things. But I want to live. Even if the world is ending in 3 years, I want to at least be healthy for the last two of them. So I’m taking this year off.
I have given up: caffeine, red meat, alcohol, cheese and dairy, fatty foods, salt, drinking anything but water, and not exercising. All of it. I’m on a diet that consists of about five small meals a day, with plenty of calories. I’m eating crazy amounts of fruits and vegetables, whole grains, and lean meats and fishes. I’m eating good fats, and healthy foods. Tons of Omega-3s. I’ve basically cut sodium down to awesomely low levels.
My average daily meals:
BREAKFAST:
Whole grain oatmeal with fruit (occasionally a scoop of flaxseed)
An Omega-3 Egg sandwich on a multi-grain bread or bagel with spinach
Multivitamin
SNACK:
Smoothie: with 2-3 fruits and vegetables. Varies every day. Some days I just eat a banana and orange. Today it was peaches, bananas, and apricots, and a cup of hempmilk. I know. My fucking milk comes out of a box. Somebody milked a plant. Hemp milk isn’t bad and comes in chocolate and vanilla varieties.
LUNCH:
Turkey burger with spinach, avocado, olives, grilled peppers on a flaxseed multigrain english muffin.
Sweet potato fries with cinnamon and spices.
(This was actually a pretty hearty meal. Normally it’s natural PBJ or a veggie burger on a english muffin. Or a simple salad of sliced vegetables.)
SNACK:
Carrots and hummus. Cucumbers or celery dance in there too.
Apple in peanut butter.
Handful of raw almonds.
Low-fat microwave popcorn.
(That’s four different snacks. Sometimes it’s just another piece of fruit. I don’t chow on all that.)
DINNER:
Millet with omega-3 butter. Grilled vegetables.
(Often we throw in some salmon or chicken. We’re trying to front load protein and ease on down on the carbs towards the end of the night.)
I try to vary the amount of nuts I eat. I don’t eat nuts every day. Occasionally I throw in some turkey bacon. We just eat a shitload of vegetables and fruits. We bought a bread machine and pedometers.
We are working our way up to walking 10,000 steps a day. That’s about 4-5 miles. Right now, I’m at 5000 miles. I’m working on getting the nerve to use my Wii Fit. I don’t want to hurt myself through overexertion. I know — killing myself with stress over a toy. But I’m pushing through on it. I’m going to get there.
Right now, my weight is around 202 pounds. I weigh in tomorrow. Again, I continue the slow arduous trend down to 140 lbs. Realistically, I’ll be losing about 1-1/2 lbs a week, if I’m lucky. So it should take a long time. I’ve also got a scale that measures my body fat. Right now, it’s at 42.1%. Which is massively obese, but not nearly as bad as I thought I’d be? I need to be down around 25%. But that’s been climbing down. I weigh myself every three days.
I’m doing it this time. I can’t afford not to. My health will crush. I will die. I know I miss out on drinking with friends. I know I miss out on eating out at fancy restaurants. But I will die if I don’t get my health in order. I can do this. I am strong enough. I have the lovely Higginbottom by my side to help me with it. We’re going to kick ass. She wants to get down to 150. She has less of a journey than I do.
But goddammit. It’s time. It’s time for me to change. To 2009. The last year I weigh 200 lbs.
