Righteous Indigestion

I am a firm believer in the reward system.  And since I’ve given over to gluttony and the fact that this diet will involve a year of my time.  So I’m giving myself little glory fist pumps when my body reaches certain points.  The downside is, it’s going to be a backslide.  I mean, right now, it’s taking almost 3 days to lose about a pound.  Which I’m totally awesome with.  I’m already under 200!  I’m rocking about 198, according to the taunting of my Wii Fit.  (Why you no call?  Why you no visit, fat man?  You fat.)

So at 200, I promised myself a DVD as a present.  Because really, at this dietary point, I shouldn’t be presenting myself with a bad food option.  And since it’ll take about a month and some change to work hard to reach my next target — 185 lbs — I’ll know how hard it is to lose weight and the reward food will have been earned.  

Here’s my reward system.  My current weight is 198.  My target weight is 140 lbs.  Apparently, I have to lose 60 pounds to be considered “normal”.  Despite the fact that I’m built like a brick shithouse, because I’m short, the dietary gods demand sacrifice.  I’m cool with that.  I’ll replace fat with muscle.  My body fat percentage is at 39.1.  Which, is still like morbidly obese, but closer to that 25% normality goal I’m striving for.  

Anyway, here’s what I’ve promised myself for my weightloss: 

200 lbs — Hulk Vs. Blu-Ray (one for me, one for my brother on his birthday)
185 lbs — Cheeseburger.  A Double-Double from In and Out.
175 lbs — Beer and a Taco. This is around the time of SXSW, and PajiBacon.  I expect a bit of a backslider on this.  But no more than 5 lbs.  Because I’m gonna be walking around like a sumbitch.
160 lbs — Pizza.  Round Table Ulti-Meat.  All the greasy food that makes baby jeebus cry.
150 lbs — Ice Cream Sundae.  I’m not a big sweets guy, to be truthful.  If I see cake, I eat it, but if it’s not there, I don’t cry over it.  But I’m totally getting a huge hot fudge sundae.  
140 lbs — Steak Dinner.  I’m either going with a $35 steak from some fancy joint where me and the missus can look spectacular in new duds.  Or we’re going to the chirrascuria and getting an all you can eat meat buffet.  Swords of steak.  It’s like I died and went to nerdly man heaven.

The thing is, it’s not like I’m going to allow that food back into my life at that point.  I will still be no red meat, no salt, no sugar, no cheese, no fried foods, no caffeine, etc.  But as I hit these goal points, I will celebrate with a reward meal.  And we’re going to make it a celebration.  And then we move on.  Because it’ll be a case of a little weight back and a little weight down.  

I’m about 13 lbs, so maybe a month from my reward cheeseburger.  I will also reward myself with blood tests to see my levels so that I can see if all this healthy living has fixed up my cholesterol and such.  

Viva los In-and-Out!

Wow.  It’s been a while, eh, kids?  News, news, news. 

Well, over Christmas this year, it was my turn to get hospitalized.  My blood pressure has been fucked up.  It started spiking again.  Very scarily.  It jumped up around 186/134.  Yikes.  I had been trying to switch medication with my doctor, and none of it was working particularly well.  Well, long story short, it’s been a mess, and I am back, on a low sodium-heart healthy diet and taking a double maximum dose of 100 mg of Atenolol, the choice of choice hearts that don’t wanna asplode. 

My cholesterol shot up to something like 300, which sucks.  My heart however is healthy.  I mean, there are no blockages, no attack damage, nothing.  My pulse is normal.  My blood pressure has been relatively low.  Unfortunately it’s still hypertensive.  

Basically, I’ve been taking this year over.  I read back over my posts and I realize that I’m a mess.  I go away for a couple months and come back talking about I got back up to 220 lbs but this time I REALLY MEAN IT!  And then I lose a few pounds, bitch and moan about how hard it is, and then give up and eat cheeseburgers.  

Well, let’s say hitting thirty and being hospitalized for dangerous blood pressure is a wake up call.  I don’t want to die.  I don’t want to be on medication.  I don’t want to be fat anymore.  I’m scared.  I’m afraid that it’s affecting my life.  My negative attitudes are increasing my stress and causing me to be depressed.  

I’m doing a complete overhaul on myself this year.  And I started already.  I figured it’s harder to make pretty speeches about how hard I’m going work, if I’ve already started.  I’m in the middle of my push for weight loss.  It’s going to take a fuck of a lot of work.  It’s going to be hard.  I’ve given up a lot of things.  But I want to live.  Even if the world is ending in 3 years, I want to at least be healthy for the last two of them.  So I’m taking this year off.  

I have given up:  caffeine, red meat, alcohol, cheese and dairy, fatty foods, salt, drinking anything but water, and not exercising.  All of it.  I’m on a diet that consists of about five small meals a day, with plenty of calories.  I’m eating crazy amounts of fruits and vegetables, whole grains, and lean meats and fishes.  I’m eating good fats, and healthy foods.  Tons of Omega-3s.  I’ve basically cut sodium down to awesomely low levels.  

My average daily meals:

BREAKFAST:
Whole grain oatmeal with fruit (occasionally a scoop of flaxseed)
An Omega-3 Egg sandwich on a multi-grain bread or bagel with spinach
Multivitamin

SNACK:
Smoothie: with 2-3 fruits and vegetables.  Varies every day.  Some days I just eat a banana and orange.  Today it was peaches, bananas, and apricots, and a cup of hempmilk.  I know.  My fucking milk comes out of  a box. Somebody milked a plant.  Hemp milk isn’t bad and comes in chocolate and vanilla varieties.

LUNCH:
Turkey burger with spinach, avocado, olives, grilled peppers on a flaxseed multigrain english muffin.  
Sweet potato fries with cinnamon and spices.  

(This was actually a pretty hearty meal.  Normally it’s natural PBJ or a veggie burger on a english muffin.  Or a simple salad of sliced vegetables.)

SNACK:
Carrots and hummus.  Cucumbers or celery dance in there too.  
Apple in peanut butter.
Handful of raw almonds.
Low-fat microwave popcorn.

(That’s four different snacks.  Sometimes it’s just another piece of fruit.  I don’t chow on all that.)

DINNER:
Millet with omega-3 butter.  Grilled vegetables.

(Often we throw in some salmon or chicken.  We’re trying to front load protein and ease on down on the carbs towards the end of the night.)

I try to vary the amount of nuts I eat.  I don’t eat nuts every day.  Occasionally I throw in some turkey bacon.  We just eat a shitload of vegetables and fruits.  We bought a bread machine and pedometers.  

We are working our way up to walking 10,000 steps a day.  That’s about 4-5 miles.  Right now, I’m at 5000 miles.  I’m working on getting the nerve to use my Wii Fit.  I don’t want to hurt myself through overexertion.  I know — killing myself with stress over a toy.  But I’m pushing through on it.  I’m going to get there.

Right now, my weight is around 202 pounds.  I weigh in tomorrow.  Again, I continue the slow arduous trend down to 140 lbs.  Realistically, I’ll be losing about 1-1/2 lbs a week, if I’m lucky.  So it should take a long time.  I’ve also got a scale that measures my body fat.  Right now, it’s at 42.1%.  Which is massively obese, but not nearly as bad as I thought I’d be?  I need to be down around 25%.  But that’s been climbing down.  I weigh myself every three days.  

I’m doing it this time.  I can’t afford not to.  My health will crush.  I will die.  I know I miss out on drinking with friends.  I know I miss out on eating out at fancy restaurants.  But I will die if I don’t get my health in order.  I can do this.  I am strong enough.  I have the lovely Higginbottom by my side to help me with it.  We’re going to kick ass.  She wants to get down to 150.  She has less of a journey than I do.  

But goddammit.  It’s time.  It’s time for me to change.  To 2009.  The last year I weigh 200 lbs.