Rocks Prevent Tigers
I’ve been getting a lot of questions about my experiences with the Trader Joe’s Complete Body Cleanse. The lovely Higginbottom, if you’ve been keeping score, is a seasoned french-fry when it comes to pain of the gall bladder. She had to have her gall bladder removed earlier this year after several severe hospital trip inducing bouts of attack. I started to have gall bladder pains myself. So we decided to try it out.
I was having sharp pains in my side and symptoms I was attributing to mild heartattack (thankfully I was wrong, it may have just been gas pains). I did the full 2 weeks, even delaying the start of my blood pressure medication because I wanted to give it the full try.
I pooped a lot. That was one thing. Mostly in the mornings, I would unleash my vengeance on the pipes. The gall bladder pain went away, but I was also eating moderately more healthy. Based on what was in the pills, it appears that Trader Joe took the policy that you should throw everything at the problem and probably something would stick. So at the end of the whole run, my gallbladder pain DID go away. But I don’t know if that was because of the Trader Joe’s cleanse. I’m not exactly what one would deem a “healthy body type”. I’m rather “gelatinous and fat-gorging”. So perhaps it was just eating healthier that benefitted me?
On the Simpsons, Lisa tries to explain to Homer the concept of flawed deductive logic. She holds up a rock she finds on the floor of the house and says “Because there are no tigers here, I could say that this rock prevents tigers.” Obviously it doesn’t. So while my gall bladder and digestive pains temporarily went away, I don’t know whether or not that was because of the cleanse. But I did feel better after doing it.
Weeks later, I’m still having some gas pains, but I’m also eating for shit. If you are looking for a better gall bladder cleanse, Higginbottom prefers a harsher flush that involves drinking a cup of olive oil and orange juice as well as fasting for two days. It’s pretty heinous. I haven’t tried it.
So does trader joe’s work? Probably.
