Dark Days Ahead
DAY 6 — Afternoon
Ugh, bleh. Feh. I feel really drained. The diet says to drink more lemonade if you feel this way. How do you get satisfaction out of the one thing that sucks the worst about the diet?
I don’t care what people say. I don’t crave veggies and healthy food. I crave horrible, dripping, disgusting, gooey crap that clogs my arteries and makes me fat and lethargic. I don’t want a salad. I want a fucking steak. I want pizza. I want the appetizer sampler. ALL OF IT.
I just feel horrible. Slagging along through the day without any energy to cope. I don’t feel clear-headed. I go through these bouts of total exhaustion and then moments of total jitteryness, but without any mental clarity. In fact, the opposite happened. I was attempting to add up how many lemons we’d need for the rest of the diet, and I kept slipping up. I just kept fountaining numbers. I was like, “we need 3, so 6, but 4 because 2 go into the bottles, but i need to double that, no it’s already doubled. i think our doses are too low, wait, no, we can use the 6 for the 7, so we just need 2 for the 3.” In my head, it was making perfect sense, but I couldn’t lucidly cogitate actual figures. I had to sit and count on my fingers.
Fasting is fucking hard. I don’t care how much fucking pancake sauce and beer toppings you drink. It’s difficult. But I guess that’s the point. I’m trying to break my body’s obeisance to foods. I’m trying to teach that bitch who’s the boss. And it sure as shit ain’t Tony Fucking Danza, it’s Tony the Fucking Tiger and his frosty delicious flakes. It’s Ronald The Tap Dancing Clown and The Burger King. It’s all those foods you crave. Your body doesn’t naturally want them. It wants good food. But that want gets buried under all the crap you shovel in over it. So I’m trying to dig it free. But it’s hard. It’s very hard. And I’ve got 4 more hard days of this.
I want. FUCKING. FOOOOOOOOOD.
